dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize