I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
