The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
if only i could text you this smell
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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