What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
another moral hangover. fuck.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
