Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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