You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize