erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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