we made out on top of his cat.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she peed on how many people?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
