dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
