i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize