Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
