My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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