Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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