Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
