I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
