Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
