Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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