When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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