he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
