After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize