my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Shame is for Republicans.
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