No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
