Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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