I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
