I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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