I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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