Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
