I wish I only lived at night.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
