hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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