You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize