Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
