He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize