its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
