I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I could fuck to npr.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
