So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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