How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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