Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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