Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
