wakey wakey hands off snakey
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
