My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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