I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
