It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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