piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
