Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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