the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
