he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
