Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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