dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
only you would photoshop your dick
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he just fucked me for my cheese..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize