I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
