I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
