ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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