Tell her she can't have a vagina
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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