Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
