I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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