i don't like sucking hair
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
