Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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