Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
