i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
