Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
