how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
