Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
