He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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